Fake it til you make it…”
A common phrase often used to encourage others to persevere even when they expect they are in over their head. Throughout my life, I’ve heard this suggestion and up until now rendered it as both potentially helpful and completely harmless.
It wasn’t until 2 years ago that I heard the term “imposter syndrome” that made me look at “faking it” in a whole other way.
Imposter syndrome is defined as the feeling or belief that one’s success is unmerited or through happenstance causing the individual to think they will be soon “found out” or viewed as a fraud.
Individuals with imposter syndrome often make excuses for recognition they earn and constantly feel anxious convincing themselves that they are unqualified and unworthy of any success that comes their way. Imposter syndrome even causes one to often feel guilty or overwhelmed to even being apart of the conversation as they lack the empowerment of knowing they have a place there.
Somewhere in between overthinking and lack of self-confidence phrases like “Whatever you think is best” or “You have more experience with than I” escape the lips of those impacted due to self doubt. The art of “I Don’t Know” serves as a coping mechanism for the insecure. Not to be confused with a “humble brag,” individuals with imposter syndrome have a knack for downplaying every positive thing and are incapable of believing in their own hype .
Imposter syndrome also know as imposter phenomenon is not a new coined psychological term but research dates back to 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. Recent studies show that at least 70% of people today will experience imposter syndrome at some point of their life. Studies on high achievers specifically today has expanded even further on the subject investigating both the origin and impact it has on society present day.
So..how do we begin the healing that is necessary to ease the pain brought on by self-doubt? How do we regain our confidence enough to not question our purpose or our right to a place at the table?
- Know Yourself: Your purpose is apart of an intricate plan. So remind yourself that your presence is no mistake. If you are called there, you are meant to be there.
- Say farewell to doubt: It’s a natural reaction to second guess. However resist the desire to remain a permanent reluctant contributor. Self doubt is not your portion.
- Know your wins: Start making note regularly of your successes and big wins. Create a sort of of brag book for your accomplishments and revisit when you are in need of a little pick me up when drowning in doubt. It is perfectly ok to toot your own horn from time to time. So beep beep!
- Seek a mentor or trusted confidante: Before you jump off into the deep end of feeling like a fraud, confide into a solid mentor or confidante to help bring you back to reality. Sometimes you may need to rely on the words on others when you lack the right words for yourself at the moment.
- Stop Faking it: Know when to stop faking it and embrace the fact that you actually made it! You have been called for such a time as this. Your presence has been made and it doesn’t matter if it was requested or endorsed by anyone else. You have arrived. So take your seat.